Patience, Pickles, and Piggin’ Out

My dependency on dill pickles is nothing new. But if a picture is worth a thousand words, then this one to the left probably says it all. 

I’ve been anxious and incredibly excited just thinking about the moment that I could finally share the news that I’m eating like a little piglet because…

I AM PREGNANT!!!

As women all over the world get pregnant every day, this might not seem like a particularly special achievement.  But if you know me personally or possibly ever read between the lines on this blog – then you know for me – it is.

Can you believe it’s been almost seven years?  Yes, SEVEN long years of trying, hoping, crying, waiting, praying, and yet, NEVER giving up hope.  Out of all the dreams I’ve aspired to make come true, realizing my dream of becoming a MOM has been one of the most difficult challenges I’ve faced.

JUST A LITTLE PATIENCE

If you’ve ever struggled with fertility issues, then you understand firsthand the sadness that comes from not being able to conceive. Couple that with all of your closest friends having babies during this time and a brother who, without seemingly any effort whatsoever, had FOUR girls…no doubt, there have been days when I could barely handle the heartache.

Although I am pretty good about not showing my internal struggles, perceptive friends could sense my emotional turmoil.  Especially because I’m one of those girls who has always pictured myself as a mom.  I’ve been thinking of baby names since I was five and I think my friends and family would agree – kids respond to me.  Kinda like horses do.  It’s hard to explain, but they both seem to know and trust instinctively that I love them.

It’s why I could never, ever wrap my head around the idea that I wasn’t meant to have my own children. 

Perhaps after waiting that long, most people, or at least less determined ones, would have called it quits.  But I’m a business woman, an entrepreneur, an artist – to make a living this way – means I depend on my self discipline, persistence, creativity and vision to make things happen.   So it was out of the question for me to accept that I was unable to have kids.

Despite appearances, I’m a bit rebellious and always have been. Not in a bad way though (so says me)…but in a way that makes me go against convention, encourages me to be different, never listening to anyone who told me I couldn’t do something, who pays no mind to naysayers, who has been out to prove to the world (and most likely myself) that I could do WHATEVER I set my mind to. 

All it takes is a tremendous amount of faith and just a little patience.

FULL OF POSSIBILITIES

Never think in terms of limitations, only see the possibilities.

Years ago, after I was struck by the hit and run driver who ripped my leg apart from my body, left me lying in the middle of the road, and bleeding to death – I was told, after two life saving transfusions and a nine hour surgery to try to put all the pieces back together – that I would never walk again.

With all due respect to the doctors – I didn’t believe them.

I guess that’s how I felt about infertility, too.

Not to mention, the clinical aspect removed the whole romance notion out of how I always thought I would conceive.  I actually preferred to adopt. Maybe because IVF would have solidified that I had a problem, I don’t know.  Morally, I’m not the least bit opposed, but emotionally, I couldn’t admit that I might need some help.  My extreme independence has always been a bit of a double-edged sword.

So, at the beginning of this year, a new decade, a fresh start full of possibilities – I made a commitment to myself, my husband and my entire family.  I would finally ease up on the 80 hour work weeks and seek the expertise of a Fertility Specialist.

PURPLE BOWS

The first appointment at the Texas Fertility Center was standard issue stuff.  Family history, medical history and my sex life.

The next objectives were to:

1. Get a transvaginal ultrasound.
2. Take antibiotics in preparation for the labs.
3. My husband, Bob would have semen analysis done.
4. I would have blood work done on day 3 of my next period.
5. Then an HSG – a hysterosalpingogram – which I still don’t know how to say.  This was scheduled for day 10 of my next cycle.

The ultrasound was first. 

It was a cold winter morning, so I wore my tall black leather over-the-knee boots.  I also had long over-the-knee socks with teeny purple bows peeking out of the top of the boots.  This is what I had on with my hopsital gown.  Up in the stirrups with my boots and bare naked butt hanging over the edge of the table, holding Bob’s hand.

I mean, c’mon, what could be hotter more romantic than that?

Looking at the screen, the doctor notes that my left ovary had released the egg approximately two days ago.  Yay for my left ovary.  It RULES.

My right ovary, on the other hand, is twisted.  Hanging out in the back of my body with my kidneys, it has a mind of its own.  My uterus is also situated on my far right hand side…being pulled by scar tissue. My right leg is the one that was tortured in my accident too.  I had surgery on my right boob in October, my GOD, my right side sucks!

I swear…my left side of my body belongs to me.  The right side is like it’s inhabited by my evil twin.

PREPARATION

Never before have I been so anxious to get my period.  It was only a mere two weeks away since I had just ovulated. 

I was more than ready to get things moving and my next step was to get day 3 blood work done.  In fact, I think I was making myself sick with worry about all the upcoming tests.  I was immediately nauseated and completely exhausted.

I couldn’t concentrate.  I promised to repair and complete the INSPIRE painting and name the winner.  Which I still haven’t done.

I was supposed to do two interviews in the press.  I missed them both. 

I sort of disappeared from Facebook and Twitter, hadn’t talked to any of my friends in weeks and postponed my upcoming Atlanta A La Mode show because I just didn’t have the energy.  The fumes in the studio were making me sick.  I couldn’t sleep at night.  I guess the idea that I was getting ready to go through in vitro had me so nervous that I just wasn’t functioning like my normal workaholic self.

I felt weird. Scared even. I had no idea what was wrong with me.  That is…until I noticed my GINORMOUS boobs.  Not the, I’m about to start my period big boobs…but huge swollen boobs (that on my then 93 lb frame) looked ridiculously gigantic.

But could it be? Almost seven years later, Bob and I go to our first fertility appointment together and BAM get pregnant before we even begin treatment?  I’m an overachiever and all, but really, this is unreal. 

For years, pregnancy tests have been brutal.  Anticipation had led to so much disappointment.  So, it’s hard to convey the joy of seeing those two pink lines. When I did – I dropped to my knees and bawled like a baby.

The longest day of my life was that day, waiting for Bob to come home. 

I can hardly believe it – I’m going to be a MOM!!!  In May, around Mother’s Day, we will find out if it’s a boy or a girl.  OMG!!  I can’t believe it.

PRAYERS PLEASE

Just shy of two months, it’s probably too soon to share with the world. Ideally, I’d love to wait until the 6 month mark to make sure everything was fine. 

But my whole life had to change in an instant.  My business, my manufacturing, the ability to make our products, to use the chemicals and solvents that I use every day – it has all come to a screeching halt.  The finished products are completely non-toxic, but all the steps that go into making them, all of the elements that have to come together to create those little works are much more hazardous than one might assume.

I have so many decisions to make.  I have to figure out what I’m going to do.  We make everything in house.  It’s always been with utmost pride when I tell people we make everything right here in the Sugarluxe Studio.

Over the last five years, I’ve tried three different factories in the US.  None have been capable of mass producing our card cases and compacts because they are very labor intensive, the materials are expensive, and they are time consuming to complete.

So, I’m at a crossroads.  The decision to stop all accessories production in the studio has been an easy one.  Like beer, coffee, and sushi, I stopped immediately. The truth is I can’t breathe, I get lightheaded and that’s simply not healthy for me or the baby.  I can’t wear a respirator because it makes getting oxygen in too difficult. 

But how I’m going to continue…or possibly not continue making Sugarluxe accessories…is something that is still undecided.

That’s why I’m sharing the news now.

For those stores and customers whose orders we’ve had had to cancel, I’m so sorry. 

Until some time in the forseeable future, production of any new accessories not in stock (not including art) is on hold.  I’ve waited WAY too long for the opportunity to have a baby.  I’m not taking any chances. The sacrifice of everything I’ve built, the possibility of losing future business…none of that matters right now.

This is what I’ve been waiting for my whole life.  I can resume with my product manufacturing and development later.  And if history has taught me anything – it’s that every challenge I’ve faced in business has created an opportunity for me to figure out a solution that – in the long run - always makes everything better.

So, my hope is that you will continue to follow me on my journey, however it may unfold.

I’ve dedicated my life to trying to live as an example of the philosophies I teach.  Where would I be without gratitude, hope, faith, confidence, kindness, and a bit of rebelliousness thrown in for good measure?

Sticking to these principles, talking about them constantly, incorporating these beliefs into all of my art is a huge part of the reason I’ve never given up.  I made myself accountable to walk the talk.  It’s not that I’ve never been stricken with doubt, depression or despair, I have. But my work and faith helped to fuel my hope.

I can attest to the fact that both professionally and personally, the most cherished things in life are certainly those for which you’ve worked the hardest.

Please send us good luck wishes…we are so excited for this next SWEET chapter in our lives.

Win Weekly Giveaway #2 – SMART Collection Designer Art Cufflinks

Win something for your sweetie or yourself for Valentine’s Day!  This week, in celebration of our 4 Year Anniversary – Sugarluxe is GIVING AWAY three, no wait, I’m feeling REALLY GENEROUS – let’s do four pairs of our designer art cufflinks. 4 Pairs for 4 Years.

In fact, if you’ve been to the Sugarluxe site recently, you’ll notice that two of the designs offered on the contest this week are NOT yet available for purchase.  So, you might be the very FIRST to sport our newest cufflinks.

All four winners selected will get one pair of Sugarluxe Cufflinks of their choice.  (Please see the image on this post for the choices available).  Offered are the two best selling pairs…and two not yet released pairs.

You get to pick whichever you like best.

It took quite a bit of time to design the perfect frame for these tiny little pieces of art. More importantly, and true to the brand, we work very hard to develop unique gift items that showcase our commitment to top quality craftsmanship with surprising affordability. No easy feat in these trying economic times.

Cufflinks are perfect for that someone who seems to have everything…

I know there won’t be enough time to get these out to the winners before Valentine’s Day.  But to help, I’m going to change it up just a bit.  This week, the contest will end on Friday the 13th at midnight.   The winners will be announced and posted here on Valentine’s Day.

As a way of thanking our super awesome friends…I thought I would do a weekly contest and give away some unique goodies that you can’t get anywhere else. No purchase is necessary to win.  And if you have any questions about HOW TO ENTER  – be sure to check out the official rules.

The cufflink artwork is created using our proprietary pro-formulated soft luster pigments and then carefully fired into a thick and durable glass-composite onto the base of a polished silver rhodium finish.

Your SMART cufflinks are presented in our custom black cufflink box with velvet lining and padded flip-top made specifically for displaying these tiny works of art.  Retail Value is $39 USD.

Find out who the WINNERS were of last week’s FREEBIES.

——————————————————–  WINNER’S ANNOUNCED ——————————————————–

UPDATE February 14, 2009:

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!

Because I hope you are off enjoying your weekend and not working online like me (plus I need to take a little time out today, too) – I thought I would make this week’s selection of winners as easy as possible.

This week’s contest winners, often like in life, are FIRST COME – FIRST SERVED.  If you were one of the first four to respond, you WIN!

And with that – here are the winners of the SMART Collection Designer Cufflinks:

1. Juli A. – Greenville, TX
2. Shannon C. – Barrie, ON Canada
3. Stean P. – Dallas, TX
4. Chic Gal (Beth A.) – Tulsa, OK

Please use our Contact Form to send us your cufflink design selection and shipping information!

1. Love You Cufflinks (black and white floral)
2. Cocktail Cufflinks (blue martini)
3. Celebrity Pin-Up Cufflinks (sexy blonde)
4. Rock Candy Cufflinks (guitar girl)

Please allow time for the production of your new cufflinks – as they are made to order.

Thanks so much to everyone who participated. I hope you’ll check back on Monday to see the NEW PRIZES for next week’s GIVEAWAYS.  More winners to come…

Stand Out in a Crowd: Being Unique like Cool Designer Cufflinks

Don’t you love cool little cufflinks? I think they’re totally sexy and for something so small, they sure can make a big statement. Huge compliments to avid cufflink collectors.  I really like accessories that provide a little insight into an individual’s personality. 

Cufflinks do that. 

So, I’ve been trying my hand at making cufflinks for almost a year and a half. In fact, I have cufflink prototypes (hundreds of pairs) strewn about the studio and stashed in drawers.  Part of the fun for my friends to come into the studio is trying to get a sneak peek at the multiple experiments I have going on at any given time…

In today’s world of manufacturing and overseas sourcing, it’s rare that a company will manufacturer and sell their own products.  It’s cost prohibitive and for the most part, I don’t know if people even care anymore about where something is made.

But I do.

I find satisfaction in doing both manufacturing and distribution. I can have control over quality and I get the opportunity to connect directly to customers.  I think that’s the best of both worlds.  But maybe that’s just me.

I enjoy taking ideas and turning them into something tangible.  I like developing the prototypes, working with so many materials, and figuring out how to perfect a process.  Art to me is more than painting or illustrating…it’s about creating something out of nothing.

But guess what?

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